You'll be okay. You think people dont notice you, but they only do it to make themselves feel better, to make the illusion as if they have enough friends so they can afford to brush off some. They'll realize their mistake someday, and by then you'll have found true friends who care about you and include you and need you. Your "friends" right now are still maturing. Don't worry hon. Your time will come. from Anonymous
I thank you for your kindest of words, but I’m not so sure anymore. 29 is fast approaching and what I have in my hands are hollow hopes. I do hope that one day, some of these persons wake up in their filth and realize that they were the ones who didn’t deserve me…I think on that, but it dawns on me that who am I to warrant such things? What good have I done in my cumbersome life to even deserve anything better than being forgotten. Dearest stranger, you are truly kind; too kind, I only wish that your kindness doesn’t ever get mistreated like mine is.
Since I was a kid my parents always told me there was no such thing as friends; people will betray you. People will take you for granted. People will lie to you and leave you in the dust they found you.
As a kid I never truly paid much attention to that. I had friends in class, but never outside of school. No one called to say hello. No one cared much or less whether I was part of their conversation or not.
Sure, I was funny at times. Sure, I was good company, but never was I invited to be part of their company.
That’s been the theme of my life. Always finding a small corner to sit in and try and be part of something. As I grew I thought it was an adolescent phase. College was no different. I skipped class to spend time with people who had no investments in me. I wasted time, money, young, and dignity. All because I wanted so bad to be noticed. I wanted to be someone’s friend.
People betrayed me. Girls lied to me. My so called friends and fellow outsiders left me in the dust they found me in. I never had a place amongst them.
I shared moments with strangers. I have memories with faceless characters from an untitled novel with no words.
Now, late twenties is here. Nothing has changed. I thought this time was going to be the best times. Adventure and exploration, but nothing has truly changed. I give myself to people who would be perfectly fine without me. I’m just a temporary distraction from their own loneliness. I’m there to fill a void between the seconds in which they have someone they value much more comes around.
My dismissal heralds in their preferred companionships.
I’m a placeholder.
People will betray you. People will take advantage of you. There are no such thing as friends.
Being naive means you ignore your feelings and instincts. Run, when you feel you should run away. Hide, when you need to escape.
Why is it that I place my self worth in other peoples hands? Why do I need to reaffirm what I deserve, what I need in other people? Being lonely is like looking through a fogged mirror. The image is there but, as much as you try and clear the glass, what’s left is a distorted face you barely recognize.
I should stop trying.
The loneliest moment in someones life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.
— F. Scott Fitzgerald (via itsmicca)
I’m doing badly, I’m doing well; whichever you prefer.
— Franz Kafka (via safeslut)
Welcome Home - Coheed and Cambria from Good Apollo I'm Burning Star IV, Vol. 1: From Fear Through The Eyes of Madness